Healing Compulsive Helping
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Aviva Bellman MSW, RSW

Do you ever feel like "The Giving Tree," cutting off your own limbs and trunk for others and leaving yourself with just the stump?

You may be struggling with compulsive helping: prioritizing other people's feelings and needs at the expense of your own. 
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Does this sound like you?
  • You seek to make others happy, but are rarely happy yourself, and struggle with anxiety, depression, burnout, or low self-worth. 
  • You consider yourself a people-pleaser: you pretend to agree when you don't, smile when you're sad, and take care of others beyond what's reasonable, all to gain approval. 
  • You have a hard time setting boundaries and advocating for your own needs, particularly in close relationships. 
  • You are your own toughest critic. ​
On the Outside
  • You are conscientious, responsible, and caring.
  • You are in a helping profession or take on a helping role in relationships. 
  • You compulsively help via your time or emotional presence.
  • You over-give to your workplace, communities, causes, or to individuals. ​
What You Want to Gain 
  • You want to live life more authentically, to feel better, and get your own needs met. 
  • You want to make more room for all of you - your True Self - rather than only the parts of you that seem most likable, most useful, or most of service. 
  • You want to balance and improve your relationships by making more room for you in them. 
  • You want to have more choice regarding your helping; you want to help in a more sustainable, less compulsive way.
  • You want to learn how to be kinder to yourself, and to soften your harsh self-criticism.​ ​

We spend a lot of energy trying to control our emotions. In my practice, we work with them. 
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How I Can Help
  • I use an evidence-based approach called Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) that helps you feel your feelings so that you can discover your True Self, what you really need, and how to get those needs met. 
  • I use empathy, warmth, and openness to co-create a strong therapeutic relationship that fosters growth and healing.
15 Minute No-Cost Consult 
  • I invite you to contact me for a no-cost video consultation to assess whether my style could be a fit for your therapy goals. 
  • To schedule this, contact me at the following:
Phone:  (647) 957-9715
Email: aviva@avivabellman.com
You can also get a better sense of me and my approach through my blog.
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  • Home
  • Compulsive Helping
  • About Me
  • Individual Therapy
  • Couples Therapy
  • Blog
  • Fees and Contact