Emotion-Focused therapy is oriented around the idea that our feelings are our truths. Feelings provide us with important information about our underlying needs. When we learn to ignore or judge our feelings, we miss this important, life-enriching information. EFT helps us reconnect to our feelings to better meet our needs.
Of course, we often come to therapy to get relief from very painful emotions that don't seem to give us any helpful information. From an EFT perspective, we have to arrive at our feelings before we can leave them (Les Greenberg, EFT developer). When we allow ourselves to feel painful feelings in therapy, they become accessible for transformation. Transformative techniques in EFT consist of using other, more helpful feelings to change unhelpful feelings. An example of this is connecting with assertive anger to undo excessive shame.
To learn more about EFT, watch this film created by psychologist Anne Hilde Vassbo Hagen and the Norwegian Institute of Emotion Focused Therapy.
Many of our struggles are born in relationships, and so require the context of relationships for healing. Although the therapy relationship is a specific one, I view it as a real relationship. I bring as much of my own True Self to the therapy session as feels therapeutic.
Relatedly, although I have process expertise, you remain the expert of your own experience. From the beginning of therapy, I invite you to bravely disclose to me when you feel I have gotten something wrong. If I feel I have done so, I will openly name it and invite your response. I believe this process contributes to healing.
We can create a new relationship for your healing, one that includes my acknowledgement and repair, when necessary. One that makes ample room for you, your True Self, and your feelings. This in turn gives you a template for transforming your relationships with yourself and other people to better meet your needs.